Our Latest Go-Around In The Circle

It’s never too late to start over again - even to go down what we may feel is the same path once more. After all, we are a different person today. We’ve lived a little more, seen a little more, and undoubtedly have more to share because of that.

 

Life can sometimes feel like a circle for many reasons. Yes, what we give and put out into this world, we receive in return. But I also believe that to go in a circle does not necessarily mean we don’t make progress, it means that with each go-around, we can go deeper into what it means to be in that particular moment or season in our lives. We can discover and rediscover deeper meaning, purpose, and grace. I think it’s actually quite natural. Don’t we have 4 seasons, anniversaries, and many, many “ground hog” days? 

 

I don’t want to be afraid of going where I’m being called because I worry that I won’t meet my own expectations, for the outcomes I want, in the timeframe I want them to happen in. Because, that is what happened in the past and it crippled me creatively. I want to trust that God is working in my life, that I’m actively praying and discerning, and each step forward I take, in whatever direction lies before me, is one step closer to living a full and complete life. That I was never meant to live up to my own plans, but rather live into a Greater plan for my life that includes disappointments, road blocks, and valleys - if only for me to know and have a deeper appreciation of what great glory, soaring high, and expansive joy feel like.

 

When I became a wife and a mother, I left behind and let go of what felt like everything else in my life, including a fulfilling and rewarding career. I have since called it a rebirth because when I looked at my newborn daughter trying to cope with, understand, and discover this new world outside of my womb, I felt exactly how she did - disoriented, in need of comfort, and unable to remedy all of this on my own. How maddening!

 

Then, how many countless times did I look at her and realize that the only grounding force in her life was me? How absolutely humbling. I remember so many nights when I’d be nursing her to sleep, how she would fuss, finally latch, and then finally find rest. I would often tell my husband perhaps this is how God felt towards me. That in my struggle, all He wanted was for me to grab onto Him so He could nurture me with a daily bread that would take care of everything, that was the answer for everything, and the source of everything I needed.

 

And so this next go-around in the circle is in deep appreciation for all the grace I’ve received in my life and in particular the most recent seasons. There is a sacred space within me that knows it’s being called to awaken once again, to breathe life into words again, to share stories once again. So I am resurrecting this blog that was originally created in 2013. It was not only a platform to share but in its own way, it became a beacon of truth and light, daring to be real, vulnerable, and honest. It ran its course and then other seasons had to come to fruition.

 

But now, it’s back. I’m back. With a few more humbled years of life and a lot more that desires to be shared. From spiritual life stories to lessons learned from being a personal trainer and athlete to the graces of marriage and motherhood. I created this space because the Timing was right for it to be reborn as well. At times it feels like I'm shaking off writing cobwebs because it's been such a hot minute. But this is me saying 'Yes.'

 

Wherever you may find yourself in your own life, I hope that something here is helpful for you and/or creates something positive or good in your life. 

 

It's a circle. Thank you for being a part of it with me.

 

With a grateful heart,

Rae